Post by Stephanie Valencia on Apr 30, 2013 16:13:21 GMT -5
My world has come completely crashing down.
I'm still reeling from what happened at the last Tribal Council. I knew it was a bad idea for Natalie to know about our plan in advance. I would have preferred to do damage control after the fact than risk Natalie exposing our plan…and my preference was obviously justified. Rafe overestimated Natalie's trust in him and everything just blew up in our faces. Now he's gone—one of the two people to whom I'm closest in this game—is gone. And I'm honestly devastated. Rafe deserved to make it to the end of this game and one misstep cost him the whole thing…not to mention the fallout that's probably about to eliminate me from the game this round too.
After the debacle of Tribal Council, Brenda sent me a brutally pompous PM asking why I went back on our deal. There are two ways I can go about this and I hate to say that I'm compelled to go with the option I prefer least.
Option 1: Cut off Brenda cold turkey. I tell her that that's the way the chips fall and in a game like his, allies sometimes become enemies. I explain that I voted against her because I know that she doesn't trust me anymore, that she's been making deals with other players (well, so have I), and that she can't hide behind her fake-ass behaviour. She got the better of me in the last Tribal Council but that's the last time it's going to happen. The gloves are off and it's on.
While I'm completely raring to go with Option 1, I just don't have the numbers to back me up. It would be game suicide to tell Brenda to her face that I'm going after her and want her gone. I mean, I do want her gone…more than anything. But it's not a possibility right now, which means I have to go with...
Option 2: Play weak. I assert that I'm going to be "straight up and honest" and explain everything that happened; I understand that she'd be upset with me and hesitant to trust me again, but I hope, at the very least, that she understands where I'm coming from. I tell her that a lot of people have been in my ear and telling me contradictory stories, and ultimately got the better of me and convinced me that she was the biggest threat to my safety in the game. I basically give the impression that I'm gullible, easily susceptible to suggestion, and completely sorry for having let those evil people turn me against her when I should have known that she'd have my back. "I know it's going to be hard to trust me again but…do you think we could still work together?"
It is the most demeaning thing ever to play stupid, especially to people with big egos, but I have to do it. Don't get me wrong; while this approach is the only feasible way for me to communicate with her, I don't think I've exactly convinced her. I know I'm her target this week; she's been putting out feelers to see if people would vote against me and…well, of course they would. Granted, I was promised by Brenda, Natalie, and Kat that they would not vote for me, but do I trust them? Fuck no.
Natalie told me that she wants Rob out and I explained why it's hard for me to vote against Rob, but that I wouldn't stand in her way if she could rally the votes against him; I'd just throw my vote away the same way I did when Rob and Eddie were voted out as a team. Half an hour later, she asks me if I'd be willing to vote out Gina? Well, that was a pretty sudden change of tune. Almost simultaneously, Brenda asks me who I'm thinking of voting for. So, in my continued act of humble stupidity, I overlook the obvious fact that they're planning this conversation together and suggest Gina…and Brenda agreed. There's no way in hell Brenda and Natalie are actually going to suddenly vote out Gina when both of them, separately, accused me of being in an alliance with Rob, Pete, and Boo. We're four-on-four and Gina is in the middle; which group would be stupid enough to vote out the swing vote?! But that's the flip side of small victories; Brenda feels like Queen Shit this round because of what she pulled off but her ego is getting in the way of her reason. Yes, she absolutely outsmarted us during the last Tribal Council, but that doesn't mean she's smarter than us…but, then again, it only helps me if she thinks that she is.
It's going to be another messy Tribal Council, that's for sure. I made a lot of promises to the girls this week, none of which I intend to keep. Pete, Rob, Boo, and I are hoping to take out one of the girls and if everything goes as planned, I may have a real chance of getting farther in this game. I have absolute trust in Rob, I have near-absolute trust in Pete, and I have…trust in Boo. Boo worries me because he's so close to Brenda and Natalie and, after basically ignoring Rob's warnings, I've finally seen with my own eyes how flaky he can be sometimes and how unreliable he is. But he recharged my Water Crystal, which is a pretty important sign of trust. And he really seems earnest when he says he wants to go to the final three with Rob and me. At this point, I have to take a risk and put my trust somewhere. You can't win this game without relying on people. Sometimes it bites you in the ass, yes, but sometimes it pays off. I'm just hoping this is one of the weeks when it pays off.
I'm still reeling from what happened at the last Tribal Council. I knew it was a bad idea for Natalie to know about our plan in advance. I would have preferred to do damage control after the fact than risk Natalie exposing our plan…and my preference was obviously justified. Rafe overestimated Natalie's trust in him and everything just blew up in our faces. Now he's gone—one of the two people to whom I'm closest in this game—is gone. And I'm honestly devastated. Rafe deserved to make it to the end of this game and one misstep cost him the whole thing…not to mention the fallout that's probably about to eliminate me from the game this round too.
After the debacle of Tribal Council, Brenda sent me a brutally pompous PM asking why I went back on our deal. There are two ways I can go about this and I hate to say that I'm compelled to go with the option I prefer least.
Option 1: Cut off Brenda cold turkey. I tell her that that's the way the chips fall and in a game like his, allies sometimes become enemies. I explain that I voted against her because I know that she doesn't trust me anymore, that she's been making deals with other players (well, so have I), and that she can't hide behind her fake-ass behaviour. She got the better of me in the last Tribal Council but that's the last time it's going to happen. The gloves are off and it's on.
While I'm completely raring to go with Option 1, I just don't have the numbers to back me up. It would be game suicide to tell Brenda to her face that I'm going after her and want her gone. I mean, I do want her gone…more than anything. But it's not a possibility right now, which means I have to go with...
Option 2: Play weak. I assert that I'm going to be "straight up and honest" and explain everything that happened; I understand that she'd be upset with me and hesitant to trust me again, but I hope, at the very least, that she understands where I'm coming from. I tell her that a lot of people have been in my ear and telling me contradictory stories, and ultimately got the better of me and convinced me that she was the biggest threat to my safety in the game. I basically give the impression that I'm gullible, easily susceptible to suggestion, and completely sorry for having let those evil people turn me against her when I should have known that she'd have my back. "I know it's going to be hard to trust me again but…do you think we could still work together?"
It is the most demeaning thing ever to play stupid, especially to people with big egos, but I have to do it. Don't get me wrong; while this approach is the only feasible way for me to communicate with her, I don't think I've exactly convinced her. I know I'm her target this week; she's been putting out feelers to see if people would vote against me and…well, of course they would. Granted, I was promised by Brenda, Natalie, and Kat that they would not vote for me, but do I trust them? Fuck no.
Natalie told me that she wants Rob out and I explained why it's hard for me to vote against Rob, but that I wouldn't stand in her way if she could rally the votes against him; I'd just throw my vote away the same way I did when Rob and Eddie were voted out as a team. Half an hour later, she asks me if I'd be willing to vote out Gina? Well, that was a pretty sudden change of tune. Almost simultaneously, Brenda asks me who I'm thinking of voting for. So, in my continued act of humble stupidity, I overlook the obvious fact that they're planning this conversation together and suggest Gina…and Brenda agreed. There's no way in hell Brenda and Natalie are actually going to suddenly vote out Gina when both of them, separately, accused me of being in an alliance with Rob, Pete, and Boo. We're four-on-four and Gina is in the middle; which group would be stupid enough to vote out the swing vote?! But that's the flip side of small victories; Brenda feels like Queen Shit this round because of what she pulled off but her ego is getting in the way of her reason. Yes, she absolutely outsmarted us during the last Tribal Council, but that doesn't mean she's smarter than us…but, then again, it only helps me if she thinks that she is.
It's going to be another messy Tribal Council, that's for sure. I made a lot of promises to the girls this week, none of which I intend to keep. Pete, Rob, Boo, and I are hoping to take out one of the girls and if everything goes as planned, I may have a real chance of getting farther in this game. I have absolute trust in Rob, I have near-absolute trust in Pete, and I have…trust in Boo. Boo worries me because he's so close to Brenda and Natalie and, after basically ignoring Rob's warnings, I've finally seen with my own eyes how flaky he can be sometimes and how unreliable he is. But he recharged my Water Crystal, which is a pretty important sign of trust. And he really seems earnest when he says he wants to go to the final three with Rob and me. At this point, I have to take a risk and put my trust somewhere. You can't win this game without relying on people. Sometimes it bites you in the ass, yes, but sometimes it pays off. I'm just hoping this is one of the weeks when it pays off.
