Post by Stephanie Valencia on Apr 15, 2013 14:48:18 GMT -5
I could fucking kill Morgan. I don't know what the hell got into her, and I still don't know the whole story, but she and Rob apparently had some kind of confrontation...where she told him that the four girls on our tribe were going to work together to target the boys and take him out.
Now, let me unpack all of this. Morgan wasn't completely lying when she said that the four Buyima girls were going to work together. But she wasn't really telling the truth either. Natalie and I have been talking a lot lately and getting closer and we agreed to look out for one another. I don't know what she told Gina or Morgan, but never was it explicitly stated that we'd work together to target the boys. More importantly, I never, ever said I would target Rob. That's the farthest thing from the truth. As pissed off as I am with him, I need Rob to stick around in this game. The fact that he's behaving like a drill sergeant and alienating everyone around him is, honestly, even better; given the choice between us, who in their right mind would go with Rob instead of me? He's the perfect secret ally because the target on his back will always be bigger than mine.
Anyway, it was a sort of unspoken understanding that the girls would stick together. I hardly ever talk to Morgan but we've voted the same way at every Tribal Council and I've basically told her who to vote for each time. What I don't understand is this: unspoken or not, what on god's brown, green, and blue earth possessed this dumbass to go to Rob of all people and say something like that? It's not even about the element of surprise; it's about keeping your targets in the dark for as long as you can so that they don't have to time to come up with preemptive strategies. If I were to tell Marcus, for example, that I planned to vote him out at the next Tribal Council, he has days and days to strategize, talk to people, and eventually find a way to save his own ass and target me. In what world is showing your cards at an inexplicably early stage in the game—we didn't even know if we had won or lost yet!—a good move? Like, shut the fuck up!
So when Natalie filled me in (in addition to cryptic messages from Morgan herself and a PM from Rob ordering me to get on AIM immediately), I went into major damage control mode. I told Rob that there was no plan to target him and that Morgan had fabricated nearly everything she said. Rob's side of the story was markedly different from what Morgan had told Natalie. And this is where it gets tricky. No one knows what was said in that conversation except for Morgan and Rob. Morgan will modify what happened in order to cover her ass as best as possible and not get us angry at her. Rob will modify what happened in order to embellish the fact that Morgan threw me under the bus so that I ultimately turn on her.
In Rob's version of the story, Morgan told him that Gina, Natalie, and I were planning on targetting the boys and that we had essentially strong-armed Morgan into siding with us. This is obvious bullshit because the extent of my communication with Gina has been one PM where I told her I was excited for us to finally be tribemates. Additionally, I haven't talked to Morgan at all since Buyima and Kulbon were formed. Rob went on to explain that Morgan taunted him about inevitably being voted out and then abruptly signed off with a happy face. The shift in tone doesn't make sense. It sounds like the conversation started off almost as a warning: she was being forced to work with the girls and wanted to give him a heads up. But then it suddenly ends with Morgan rubbing in his face that he has no chance of surviving Tribal Council. This is why I'm sure Rob made up parts of his story.
I talked to Natalie about the whole situation at length and I'm not sure that we really reached a conclusion. I threw out the possibility of voting out Morgan as a kind of peace offering to calm down Rob and the other boys and ease any apprehensions that the girls are working together. Natalie then revealed to me that she has a Water Crystal, which means that, even if we voted out Morgan this round, Natalie, Gina, and I could control the next vote too by nullifying one of the boys' votes. Ultimately, Natalie wasn't comfortable voting out Morgan and I didn't want to push the issue. Natalie is a relatively new ally so I made sure not to come off too aggressively; I reassured her I was just weighing the pros and cons of every scenario. On the bright side, I steered her attention away from Rob by drawing attention to how tyrannical he's been behaving and suggesting that he'll eventually sink his own ship. This is the only way that I can protect Rob. His attitude and behaviour are unbelievable and I don't understand how he thinks this will keep people on his side. So I have to keep pushing this idea that Rob will eventually self-destruct in order to convince others that it's smart to keep him around.
My conversation with Rob ended with my promising him that I wouldn't turn my back on him, and I meant it. The reality is that I made a deal with Rob and I'm going to try my best to honour it. I'm not going to sacrifice my game for him and if I have to eventually cut him loose, I will, but it'll be with a heavy heart. I want Rob to stay around for as long as possible…even though I know his mouth will catch up to him at some point and take him out of the game. If that happens, it's part of the game and I'll do my best to avoid it. As long as I don't have a direct hand in it, at least I know I'll have a sure jury vote when I make it to the end.
That being said, Rob really does need to cool it. He treats his tribemates like subordinates and I think that he does that even more with me because, in his mind (and in some strange pre-civilized way), I'm his "woman." I've said it before and I'll say it again: I was a total idiot when I told him he was the boss. I knew it was exactly the kind of thing that he wanted to hear (and it worked), but I had no way of predicting this side of his personality. As frustrating and exhausting and insulting as it is, however, I'm going to go with the flow, let him strut around like Napoleon, and continue stroking his ego. This fiasco with Morgan has shaken his trust in me so I need to do what I can to make sure that he believes in me 100%. Even if what I want to say is this:
In all seriousness, though, thank god we won immunity this round because I did not want to have to cast a vote with this drama still hanging in the air. It's too early for me to draw a line in the sand like that and I desperately want to avoid any situation that will force me to. If we end up at Tribal Council next round, I'm going to push for Marcus to be voted off. It's something I can justify with his absence in the last challenge and hopefully it'll satisfy the girls without pissing off Rob. I'd prefer not to go to Tribal Council at all, but one must always anticipate the worst.
At Kulbon, I'm hoping Rafe and Brenda can stay safe. I have final deals with both of them (though my deal with Rafe is more important to me than my deal with Brenda) so I need them both to stick around. Rafe told me that the tribe is likely going to target Zane, which is perfectly fine with me since I've spoken all of four words to him and find him weird, crass, and unfriendly.
Now, let me unpack all of this. Morgan wasn't completely lying when she said that the four Buyima girls were going to work together. But she wasn't really telling the truth either. Natalie and I have been talking a lot lately and getting closer and we agreed to look out for one another. I don't know what she told Gina or Morgan, but never was it explicitly stated that we'd work together to target the boys. More importantly, I never, ever said I would target Rob. That's the farthest thing from the truth. As pissed off as I am with him, I need Rob to stick around in this game. The fact that he's behaving like a drill sergeant and alienating everyone around him is, honestly, even better; given the choice between us, who in their right mind would go with Rob instead of me? He's the perfect secret ally because the target on his back will always be bigger than mine.
Anyway, it was a sort of unspoken understanding that the girls would stick together. I hardly ever talk to Morgan but we've voted the same way at every Tribal Council and I've basically told her who to vote for each time. What I don't understand is this: unspoken or not, what on god's brown, green, and blue earth possessed this dumbass to go to Rob of all people and say something like that? It's not even about the element of surprise; it's about keeping your targets in the dark for as long as you can so that they don't have to time to come up with preemptive strategies. If I were to tell Marcus, for example, that I planned to vote him out at the next Tribal Council, he has days and days to strategize, talk to people, and eventually find a way to save his own ass and target me. In what world is showing your cards at an inexplicably early stage in the game—we didn't even know if we had won or lost yet!—a good move? Like, shut the fuck up!
So when Natalie filled me in (in addition to cryptic messages from Morgan herself and a PM from Rob ordering me to get on AIM immediately), I went into major damage control mode. I told Rob that there was no plan to target him and that Morgan had fabricated nearly everything she said. Rob's side of the story was markedly different from what Morgan had told Natalie. And this is where it gets tricky. No one knows what was said in that conversation except for Morgan and Rob. Morgan will modify what happened in order to cover her ass as best as possible and not get us angry at her. Rob will modify what happened in order to embellish the fact that Morgan threw me under the bus so that I ultimately turn on her.
In Rob's version of the story, Morgan told him that Gina, Natalie, and I were planning on targetting the boys and that we had essentially strong-armed Morgan into siding with us. This is obvious bullshit because the extent of my communication with Gina has been one PM where I told her I was excited for us to finally be tribemates. Additionally, I haven't talked to Morgan at all since Buyima and Kulbon were formed. Rob went on to explain that Morgan taunted him about inevitably being voted out and then abruptly signed off with a happy face. The shift in tone doesn't make sense. It sounds like the conversation started off almost as a warning: she was being forced to work with the girls and wanted to give him a heads up. But then it suddenly ends with Morgan rubbing in his face that he has no chance of surviving Tribal Council. This is why I'm sure Rob made up parts of his story.
I talked to Natalie about the whole situation at length and I'm not sure that we really reached a conclusion. I threw out the possibility of voting out Morgan as a kind of peace offering to calm down Rob and the other boys and ease any apprehensions that the girls are working together. Natalie then revealed to me that she has a Water Crystal, which means that, even if we voted out Morgan this round, Natalie, Gina, and I could control the next vote too by nullifying one of the boys' votes. Ultimately, Natalie wasn't comfortable voting out Morgan and I didn't want to push the issue. Natalie is a relatively new ally so I made sure not to come off too aggressively; I reassured her I was just weighing the pros and cons of every scenario. On the bright side, I steered her attention away from Rob by drawing attention to how tyrannical he's been behaving and suggesting that he'll eventually sink his own ship. This is the only way that I can protect Rob. His attitude and behaviour are unbelievable and I don't understand how he thinks this will keep people on his side. So I have to keep pushing this idea that Rob will eventually self-destruct in order to convince others that it's smart to keep him around.
My conversation with Rob ended with my promising him that I wouldn't turn my back on him, and I meant it. The reality is that I made a deal with Rob and I'm going to try my best to honour it. I'm not going to sacrifice my game for him and if I have to eventually cut him loose, I will, but it'll be with a heavy heart. I want Rob to stay around for as long as possible…even though I know his mouth will catch up to him at some point and take him out of the game. If that happens, it's part of the game and I'll do my best to avoid it. As long as I don't have a direct hand in it, at least I know I'll have a sure jury vote when I make it to the end.
That being said, Rob really does need to cool it. He treats his tribemates like subordinates and I think that he does that even more with me because, in his mind (and in some strange pre-civilized way), I'm his "woman." I've said it before and I'll say it again: I was a total idiot when I told him he was the boss. I knew it was exactly the kind of thing that he wanted to hear (and it worked), but I had no way of predicting this side of his personality. As frustrating and exhausting and insulting as it is, however, I'm going to go with the flow, let him strut around like Napoleon, and continue stroking his ego. This fiasco with Morgan has shaken his trust in me so I need to do what I can to make sure that he believes in me 100%. Even if what I want to say is this:
In all seriousness, though, thank god we won immunity this round because I did not want to have to cast a vote with this drama still hanging in the air. It's too early for me to draw a line in the sand like that and I desperately want to avoid any situation that will force me to. If we end up at Tribal Council next round, I'm going to push for Marcus to be voted off. It's something I can justify with his absence in the last challenge and hopefully it'll satisfy the girls without pissing off Rob. I'd prefer not to go to Tribal Council at all, but one must always anticipate the worst.
At Kulbon, I'm hoping Rafe and Brenda can stay safe. I have final deals with both of them (though my deal with Rafe is more important to me than my deal with Brenda) so I need them both to stick around. Rafe told me that the tribe is likely going to target Zane, which is perfectly fine with me since I've spoken all of four words to him and find him weird, crass, and unfriendly.
